miss me?

Well if you don’t … I DO. 

What a drastic change in my life.  The transformation was gradual but I sit here a new person, new beliefs, new appreciation.  I wish I could find the “quiz” we took a couple years back because I bet it would NOT be what it is today.  It went something like this:

What were you doing 5 years ago?
Jan 2004 I was still a SAHM.  My children were 10, 9, 6, 2 and 10 months.  Ralph was working toward a new job with TN lottery and out of town for 13 weeks without coming home. We were excited about moving away and working on being US in our marriage.  I was keeping baby Katherine and loving having a girl.  That was before any middle school … and before I ever dreamed of working outside the home.

What were you doing 5 months ago?
Aug 6 I believe was the 2nd day of school.  I was so excited after a teaching conference in Pensacola.  Happy to have my 100 kids back and wanting to try new things at Trinity.  My children were starting 10th grade, 9th grade, 6th grade, 2nd grade, kindergarten and 3 y/o preschool.  My marriage was falling apart and I was seriously contemplating how I could survive on my income.

What were you doing 5 weeks ago?
Let’s see … I was 3 weeks into a brand new job.  I left the school and became asst store manager at Krispy Kreme working with a dear friend and her family.  I was beginning to be totally exhausted as Brittney had recently had surgery, the girls uncle had died (with me driving to VA and back in a 20 hour period), I had worked both jobs for 2 weeks, I had directed an important and final performance at Trinity .. and duh … a NEW job doing something I’ve never done.  Plus we had Thanksgiving and the weekend rush and the stress of Christmas on it’s way.  I’m not sure I remember my children during that time … I’m not sure I remember much of anything.  My marriage was bearable but not happy.

What were you doing 5 days ago?
It was New Years Day 2009.  I got a promotion.  A new year at Krispy Kreme brought me the title of General Manager which also brought the sadness of my dear friend leaving the company.  It was also the day that another dear friend lost her husband in a horrible car accident.  It is a loss that I don’t understand (not we ever do understand death?) and made a mark on my heart that I will never lose.  A mark that reminds me to be thankful for Ralph and accept that our marriage IS and IS is all that I have and so much more than my friend has.  I worked a typical 11 hour day.

What were you doing 5 min ago?
typing !

What will you be doing in 5 days?
It will be Sunday in 5 days and I will be at church … working.  We are having a really cool conference and I’m trying to find a way to keep the coffee shop open for several hours and not have to pay anyone … that would mean doing it alone I guess ….

What will you be doing in 5 weeks?
Feb 11 will be right in between Sam and Alli’s birthdays.  Samuel will be 6 on the 8th and Alli will be 4 on the 15th.  I’m sure I will work that day too.  I will be thankful for a job that pays the bills.  Thankful for a crew that is working hard.  Thankful for good friends and family.

What will you be doing in 5 months?
June 6 …the kids will be freshly out of school.  Brittney will have a learners permit by then (scarey).  I will have to figure out how to work things for the summer while I still have a 50 hour work week.  I for-see a lot of summer camps!

What will be doing in 5 years?
This is the one I am fearful of predicting … because the 5 years ago is so amazingly different than what I thought. 
Brittney will be about to turn 21 ! My stomach churns at thinking she will no longer be living in my home.
Sarah will be 19 .. she is the one that I fear will already be in a serious relationship and contemplating marriage. *gulp*
Nicholas will be almost 17.  Driving for sure.  Driving us crazy for sure.  LOL.  He will a year away from graduating high school. 
Jacob will be 12 and in middle school .. 7th grade.  A tough time.  And he’s my red-head.
Samuel will be about to turn 11 and in 5th grade.  CMES will no longer be a brand-new school like it is now his first year there.  He will be the first class to have attended all his years at the new building.
Allison will be almost 9.  That’s the age that my other girls started getting moody … wow.  My baby at 9? 

I hope that by then I will have managed a new Krispy Kreme in Hall County and moved up to being more of a regional type manager for all of Ellis Enterprises. 

I will have just celebrated my 17th anniversary.  I hope to be madly in love.  I plan to be content and peaceful with the choices I’ve made to that point.

I better NOT be a grandmother.  I will be 42. 

So … tell me about you!