“MY” vision for divorce – Dare 4

“It’s just a game and Dad said it’s okay at his house.”

The anger in me is hard to keep in check. A rated “M” game is not appropriate for a 10 year old. My thoughts are racing as I struggle to find the TRUTH in this situation and speak in love to my child.

“Son, when did you know that it was wrong for you to play this game? Was it just now when I brought it up?”

“No Mom, I knew you would not want me to play the game from the beginning. So I asked Dad and he told me that he didn’t think it was that bad.”

“Son, do you know that the Holy Spirit lives in you and sometimes speaks to you through that funny feeling in your tummy when you are doing something wrong?”

We went on to discuss how Christians are not of this world. How the Bible says that a time will come when Son will stand against Father on Biblical truth. We talked about the hard things in life. He cried and told me that it would be hard for him to choose not to play the game. I told him that Jesus promised us an “out” for every temptation. I asked him to tell me some scriptures he has hidden in his heart and told him that speaking or writing those words in a time of temptation will make him stronger. We prayed.

And when he left the room I allowed myself the anger that I felt ….
THIS is not how I envisioned divorce.

One of the big reasons I’m not married to his Dad is that we hold a different moral compass. I guess I thought that I was taking my children away from a world of mixed signals. Instead, I took them into a world where I’m not there sometimes when life gives them tough choices. My vision for divorce was skewed by society that said it would all be better if we were apart.

Thankfully, God is at work in the relationship with my ex-husband. My son told his Dad about our conversation and his Dad has asked to speak to me soon about “his house rules”. This gives me opportunity to pray and prepare and let God work.


In The Respect Dare, Nina Roesner writes:

“Did you know God has a vision for YOUR life? He has specific purposes in mind that YOU were specially created to breathe life into for His people and His glory.”

In 2 John the Bible encourages, no – commands, us to love one another. “And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.”

My vision for life after divorce was one of going forward with a new life, making decisions for my children and myself and NOT considering the thoughts or feelings of my ex-husband.

God’s vision for my life after divorce is one of reconciliation.

He has commanded me to love. I show that Godly love by respecting my ex-husband, by keeping myself in check as someone outside of his home, by praying for him to see the love of Christ in me and to turn from his ways toward Christ. I show that Godly love by responding with truth in front of my children, truth carefully wrapped in love that doesn’t cause them hurt (because I spoke a harsh word about their father).

What was your vision of divorce? Did you think it would be easier to live the life that you are called to? Were you blind to God’s truth but now can see?

Today I dare you to write a Godly vision in regards to your relationship with your ex-spouse. Spend time thinking about ways that God asks us to treat each other. Reflect on the life of Christ and how He treated those around Him – both the ones that loved Him and the ones that despised Him.

Praying today that divorced Christians become more like Christ.


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